Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I CALL

The fire is hot and fierce.
I am backed up against the wall.
All this heat is overwhelming.
"Come and love me!" I call.
The flames flick at my face,
But it misses and catches my hair.
I am then engulfed in the blaze.
No one is there to care.

The water is rising.
The tides coming in near.
"Come and love me!" I call.
I am tightly bound under the pier.
All my muscles go firm.
The water washes over my head.
I can’t breath so I suck in.
No one can see me because I am dead.

Now tangled in a sticky web,
I struggle but no one arrives.
"Come and love me!" I call.
I am afraid I may not survive.
The eight-legged creature,
Bites down deep in my flesh.
No one can hear me scream.
Sadly it soon results in my death.

I walk on the thin ice lake.
Under my weight it shatters.
"Come and love me!" I call.
My chin goes wild and chatters.
The snowflakes float over-head.
My heart beats from fast to slow.
No one is there to pull me out.
Frozen stiff with never ending water below.

I jump out of the plane.
Nothing but the sky and me.
"Come and love me!" I call.
I feel so wild and free.
Then my para-shoot jams.
Falling faster and the ground getting closer.
No one is there to help.
This is my final encounter.

I am a fragile rose with no water.
Soon my pedals will fall.
Will you be there to catch me?
"Come and love me!" I call.
No one is there to hear me.
No one is there to care.
You will catch me as a friend,
But nothing more is to bear.


CONCLUSION : Well! some people are just deaf, or maybe I should've used the phone instead      



Wednesday, September 8, 2010

FAMILY!!!

UGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


CONCLUSION:   Family...ugh...

DURIAN!!

THE KING OF FRUIT!!

I've found this article here that explain much of what the fruit is :-

Reviled by some, worshiped by others, the one thing that remains certain about the durian amidst all the controversy is that it there's absolutely nothing else like it on the face of the earth.

I would like to quote a British naturalist named Alfred Russel Wallace who wrote in 1856 :
“The five cells are silky-white within, and are filled with a mass of firm, cream-coloured pulp, containing about three seeds each. This pulp is the edible part, and its consistence and flavour are indescribable.
A rich custard highly flayoured with almonds gives the best general idea of it, but there are occasional wafts of flavour that call to mind cream-cheese, onion-sauce, sherry-wine, and other incongruous dishes. Then there is a rich glutinous smoothness in the pulp which nothing else possesses, but which adds to its delicacy.
It is neither acid nor sweet nor juicy; yet it wants neither of these qualities, for it is in itself perfect. It produces no nausea or other bad effect, and the more you eat of it, the less you feel inclined to stop. In fat, to eat durians is a new sensation worth a voyage to the East to experience …as producing a food of the most exquisite flavour it is unsurpassed.”
Extracted from ‘On the Bamboo and Durian of Borneo’ by Alfred Russel Wallace (1856)


"Your breath will smell as if you'd been french-kissing your dead grandmother."
-Anthony Bourdain

Please note that Anthony Bourdain said that while finishing a whole fruit of Durian and doesn't seems to be the least reviled by it, in fact he said that it tasted good, making pleasure sounds ...while extolling the bad qualities of the fruit...dunno if I should hate or love that guy for that scene alone lol...it was on his  'Cook Tours'  TV show.

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Simply put, its a fruit with hard thorny exterior and the most glorious flesh inside.  And I couldn't find any words to describe the superiority of this fruit, the addictive quality of  'once is never enough' and the life changing experience this fruit brings...I'll just copy it from somewhere else :P

''...The initial pungent, onion-like aroma was definitely present in the taste, and for a moment overshadowed everything. But then, the horde of sweeter and more layered flavours nestled in the soft durian flesh rushed to the front. Berries, caramel, banana, buttered popcorn and roasted nuts all swirled together in a custard-like texture, while the underlying bitterness still remained. What had to be the strangest aspect of the whole experience was how quickly my initial revulsion gave way to intrigue: my curiosity had been piqued and I needed to go back for more to explore specific flavours I’d missed on the first go ’round. I quickly realised how one could come to appreciate durian in the way one does wine or scotch, always trying different varieties and seeking out particular notes.

More than anything, I was instantly overcome with the strength and power of the flavour, rather than the specific taste itself. I’ve never eaten anything that was so unapologetically strong. Tasting durian’s a little like being mauled by a bear: the bear’s certainly not going to give you any account of what it did or why, and so it’s up to you, in your battered condition, to try to piece the story together.."

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Durian is also known for its 'heating' nature.  If you ate it too much, it can cause your body to overheat, sweating, nose bleed,  and sometimes dizziness.And also its not to be mixed with few other consumables, like beer or sodas..especially within 5 -10 hours of consuming Durian.  It could cause death.. Alcoholic and ppl with heart disease or few other serious ailment should stay away from this food, it could be deadly.

Some argue due to the danger caused by eating Durian, and the limitation that one have to face while eating this fruit (most limit themselves to eat only about 5 seeds of Durian to be on the safe side) made it a very
sought after delicacy...you know how people like to do something that is forbidden or dangerous :D
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CONCLUSION : Durian is the King of fruits!!

Monday, August 30, 2010

without feelings

Is being a robot without deeper feelings is better? Surviving each day without feeling worry, sadness, anxious, content, love, or being loved, deeper desire, needs, affections..nothing.

you'd feel happy, and angry or upset...but nothing in between.  Is it better than needing someone, crying every night from the hurt they inflicted, thinking about million things that could happen, that did happen and shouldn't've happened?  Questioning everything...questioning every words, every actions...Wondering why it happened, why things changed...and the worse thing is, they didnt even realized it...that person just don't see how much they're hurting you..when you tried to tell them, they belittled, they get offended, they lashed out, they think that you're blaming them, they think that you're purposely looking for way to make them feel guilty...disbelief, saying  ''...how could you....how could you..''

Sitting here watching their situation dictate everything, sitting here saying 'ok..I understand'  cos what else can you do? stop them? when they said 'I can't take this anymore!'..what can you say to that.  The person can't be around you..should you stop them? begged them to endure it? to tolerate it? and just stay?...of course not, you have pride, you have dignity. why beg? its not as if you're a cheap trash, its not as if you don't have any value...you know you do, experience told you that, ppl told you that, their concern and their admiration told you that, their willingness told you that.

and yet.....and yet.....you sacrifice yourself..in hopes that people would treat you the same way you treated them...Fully believing the saying ' Treat Others As You Want Yourself To Be Treated'...giving all you got, within your ability..sometimes going beyond what you should or need to do...all the nice things in the world...giving all to them, putting them before yourself...and still they want more...still they expect more.  You dont want 'thanks'..you dont want 'appreciation' ..you dont want 'gratitude'...you just want to be treated the same way...with at least a consideration, and tolerance and kindess and respect.

And so...you cry and cry..until you're amazed that you still have tears to cry...and cry even without realizing it...and then the tears dried up..not because it stopped...because you couldnt cry anymore...

And you decide...its not worth feeling anymore...you have a life to live...and so you put away everything, to keep your sanity......with years of practice, with years of abuse and hurt and loneliness and being manipulated...you've become good at it.  It's your survival instinct along with your excellent sense of humor, its what kept you normal...

So you forget your feelings.....you're happier..superficial at least..heart is clearer..but empty.


CONCLUSION: There is no conclusion

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Being Strong

I'm thinking...(uh oh she's thinking....ruun!!)

Its not so much as having the strength or being strong in face of adversities...Sometimes I think, in some situation,  its more of being  determined to not fail, to not being defeated, in which takes us to the probability of its just stubborness or tenaciousness.  Of wanting to hold on to the idea that they're right and that they will never let anything, anything to change their mind..thats why they stood their ground..a strong person.

or maybe its just stupidity.  Too stupid to sometimes see that you're fighting a losing battle, or that there's something that you can do to change the situation, to make tough decision to free yourself from the pain.

Or maybe its just acceptance.  You accept your situation, instead of fighting it. People that fight their problems always see-saw between rage, self-pity woe-is-me mode, disappointment and sadness...but the person that stood silent and calm is usually the one that will be considered strong.

(heyy....still here? I thought you ran away...)


CONCLUSION : I'm not that strong

Saturday, August 14, 2010

You know it's always sad
When you can't be bought anymore
Coming to that point where
You just don't even care what your distraction for

My material possessions mean nothing anymore
When they were all I had; now losing my only chance
At the only person I ever wanted
The only thing that couldn't be bought

The only thing that was worth my money
It was true happiness
What reason do I have now?
Now that my pathetic reason is gone

"No reason is pathetic
No life is meaningless"
Yes that's true yet tis not
"We are not put here to suffer

I will NOT believe that"
Not every life can be loved
Not every life can be known
That's just how it works

Some are meant for suffering
Some are meant for nothing-ness
Some are meant to die
Some are just meant for suicide

My reason was something that was looked down upon
My reason was something that couldn't last forever
I couldn't cling to reason for eternity
Because reason and I have an expiration date

To the sweat of a man's brow
And the suffering of a childhood
Burned out from the fire of abuse
Left with ashes that meant nothing to none

None but I but, I
Meant nothing to no one either
I am useless without a purpose
So I am ready

Ready to toss my body aside
Let the next should take my place
Then I shall fly to afterlife
Rest in my buried coffin with perhaps,
My final smile.



CONCLUSION : people die                                                                                                     





Friday, August 13, 2010

Terrible Two

Before my son was born, I read a lot about the Terrible Two. The way they explained it,  it is some kind of a juvenile Jekyll and Hyde . '' Beware! ..when the moon finally made its 24th cycle of the earth, when the little precious one turned the dreaded age of 2 ...your sweet little baby will transformed into a horrible little monster, capable of mass destruction and chaos!!...Be warned!''

They made it look like its something unimaginably bad..its the phase that made moms almost swear off being pregnant again..its something that made your house looks like a fortress with everything locked up and glued, screwed in, taped over, covered and hidden.  Experienced mothers would warn me... 'ooh wait until he's two, Dearie, then you won't have to diet to lose weight..you'll lose weight just by being around him'..


 I was kinda worried about it..and so, when Rique entered that age, well......Was the article right, you ask?.....was it like what they say? well.....yes and no.....its not the screaming-and-breakdancing-on-the-floor-until-Mom-gives-what-I want, kinda behaviour, in which I was kinda expecting,...well, here's an example :-

..Rique was playing with the water dispenser, pressing
buttons and watching the water poured out..I took his right 
hand off the button, he pressed it instead with his left hand, I let 
go of his right hand and grabbed his left hand, his right hand
went to the button and as he tried to pull his left hand from mine, 
which was freed just as I was trying to grab his right hand, and 
the left went to the button, I grabbed that hand and took it off the 
button, he managed to put his right free hand under the water 
before it stopped, wetting it. I grabbed the wet right hand to wipe it, 
freeing his left hand, in which it moved to the button again and
pressing it, I grabbed the left to stop the water, and somehow 
right hand got free, and on the button it goes, I grabbed both
hands, and tried to pull him away, he tried 
to use his FEET instead..lifting it high up..


This happened in a very quick succession, less than a minute. From afar, it might looked like we're having some kind of Shaolin Kung Fu Master & Apprentice practice on an intricate hand combat technique....with a water dispenser.

He didnt cry or say anything throughout this..but he's doing it with extreme determination on his face.

 So, I dont know.

CONCLUSION: That calm and methodical way were waaaay scarier than screaming and crying


Thursday, August 12, 2010

Bali's food

I went to Bali few months ago for a  holiday, it was a beautiful place, but too crowded with tourist especially in the Kuta, Legian and Seminyak area.  I was extremely disappointed with the choices there, theres only few signature dishes but it was not readily available to us.  What's available though was Italian food and western food..lots and lots of it.  I've had more pizza and pasta in my few week stay there than in my whole of 30 plus years back home


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This is called Mie Ayam or chicken noodle..basically its just instant noodle mixed with minced chicken..tasted very good though..but very very oily.

Fried rice one of the popular food here, tasted good, depends on the restaurant
Stone baked pizza at Marzziano... very very good
This dish is called Soto Batawi its meat stew, and I think they mixed peanut sauce, I'm not sure, but tasted ok
The food choices in the Food Court in Discovery Mall
at one Warung Murah, this is their version of Soto Ayam, chicken noodle soup ..the noodle is a glass noodle not meehun, or rice noodle..its tasted ok, kinda subtle..nothing so special..but strangely I seemed to craved it almost every time I passed by that place..I wonder what they put in that thing..Very suspicious.
A Bakso, from a roadside stall on motorbike.  Its meatball soup..and yes that huge thing is a meatball, theres about 5 slightly smaller ones somewhere in there..for this one, it tasted ok.  There's lots of Bakso vendor around Bali, was meaning to get another from a different place...but didnt get the chance to :(
Thats the Bakso vendor
Another Bakso at a cafe, this one tasted terrible..not the meatballs though, that tasted goood
We ate at a place called The Goody's..it has become our favorite eating place..Food was cheap and very very good.  This is called the Bar-B-Q platter, 2 kinds of grilled meat, 2 kinds of sausages, chips and a kind of pita bread...and can you believe its a one person dish?!  Theres a 2- person platter too.
This is at one other place that we went, its a Japanese-Korean fusion restaurant...I don't like the food and its extremely expensive.
at the same Fusion place, this is Kimchi on a stone stove...tasted ok...not my favorite, too salty

CONCLUSION:...Don't go to Bali for the food.  Maybe there's some places that served good delicious food, but not at where I went to but it has beautiful beaches and beautiful temples and culture, the peoples are lovely, very very friendly...but too many tourist and tourist based shops.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Food, Food, Food! (Part 3) Fast Food!

♫ KFC, Paratha and Big Apple Donuts ♪
♫McDonalds, Burgers, Buns covered with peanuts ♪
♫Pizzahut, Subway and a Burger King,♪
♫These are the few of my favourite things..♪

KFC!!!!

Variety of Donuts!! available at your local Big Apple Donut
YUMMY!
this few bites can add inches to the waist
A very big burger. Available at the New York, New York restaurant in 1Borneo
but its not really that good actually, just very filling...
sugar and spice and all things delicious on display
sausage inna bun with a tart *snicker*
Meat Pau ..its bread stuffed with meat/peanuts
Hot Roll Pratha...its basically Pratha Roti with added ingredient, like cheese and ham and sausages and butter. very very yummy!
Look at that awesome gooeyness!
Polo bun..bud covered with something delicious
Cheese Tart..all that white are all pure, heavenly cheese!!
And this is Curry Puff flaky bread stuffed with curry chicken
A favorite cooling drink...its shaved ice mixed with jellies, beans, chendol, corn, cornflakes, icecream and then smothered in syrup and sweetened condensed milk

CONCLUSION: I love food                                                                                                   


Food, Food, Food (Part 2)

..aand lets continue with our culinary journey..hold on tight and enjoy the ride, Hands to the side, no food tasting I'm sorry

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Sushiii!!!  This is at Wagamama..my favourite Japanese restaurant! I love their chicken wings, one part is stuffed with sausage and mayo, and the drummett is cooked with ginger or something, and then fried..delicious!

Salmon Sushi...my favorite!! So far the best tasting sushi I know is in Wagamama
Food set.  I think its Fried Salmon..very yummy

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Rojak Jawa ..or you can call it Peanut Sauce Spaghetti if you want, its basically peanut sauce cooked in spices and poured over a boiled yellow noodles, and then other dish are added, like meat, boiled eggs, tofu, cucumber and bean sprout. Very delicious.
Soto, or meat noodle soup...I forgot where this is, but I dont think it tasted that great for that dish.

Nasi Lemak rice cooked in coconut milk and added anchovies sambal, boiled eggs and other side dish like fried chicken....if done right, its the most delicious thing..I like it really really spicy
Close up!
and this is one of the most delicious Watan Ho I've ever tasted...it was at Kundasang restaurant..
another version of Watan Ho, only this one is called Wet Noodle...3 guesses as to why its called that :p
Nyonya Laksa! At Palm Square....Just by looking at this you can almost feel your artery and heart being suffocated by the oil and fats that in it,  buut I wont let that get in a way of an amazingly good meal!
Ekonomi rice..or rice buffet dish..sort of...you're given a plate of rice and you can choose from the variety of food on display..then they'll charge you according to what you take

CONCLUSION :  we have good food here *nods*                                                                             

Food, Food, Food!! ( Part 1 )

While waiting for my mind to settle on something intelligent... something extremely profound.... something that will make you scour the regions of your brain that you seldom use ( :p ) ..... something that will make you scratch-your-chin-and-nod-wisely, kind of blogs.....

lets post pictures of FOOD!!!!

Before I tickle your brain, lets see if I can tickle the tastebuds first :P
   

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Fried Yellow Mee at the Wisma Merdeka Food Court..aand it tasted good..my drink was Cincau Susu.. Milk Herbal Jelly would be the translation. The black floating thingy is jelly minced to death, and then poured in a glass of milk. yummy!..blue glass is just boring old cold water.
and that is Singapore Mee.  Its the same type noodle, but I think they mixed curry powder in it, I think.  The Food Court changed owner few times, I hope they still maintain the signature fill-the-noodles-to-the-brim-and-pour-the-whole-bowls-of-seafoods-on-top-of-it-and-let-see-the-customer-die-trying-to-finish-it.

Let see....how do I do this

..Just starting out..Still poking around, disturbing things, having a tour.....reading stuff and changing things around just to see what it would do.



CONCLUSION : ITS DAMN CONFUSING! .... anyway, have patience with me..I'll be up and running in no time, and you wont regret the wait ( I think, I hope :P)..now, crack the knuckles and lets start blogging!!...eventually.. :)