Rique will turn 5 in less than a month!! I can't believe that he's already FIVE!!!
Feels like its only a short while ago he was trying to walk, and then to speak...now he's FIVE!
One important thing that I noticed though, he has become very close and very fond of me. In which I am very happy with, because it wasn't like that in his early years. But nowadays, he chooses me over his grandma, aunt and father most of the time now. He even refused to share things, like toys, or food with others..telling them that he will only shares with me, his friend. Of course I will tell him that he shouldn't do that and its not a nice thing to do, but yes, secretly I am pleased.
Its an uphill battle, to be the 'bad person' that says 'no' to him frequently and enforces disciplines and firm rules...when he has 4-5 ppl around him that kowtowed and just gives in to his every demand. People who lets him talk disrespectfully and being rude and insulting. And not only that, they acted as if its the cutest thing they've ever heard from him and proceed to pat him or hug him or laugh or tell ppl in an annoyingly 'oh-what-am-I-to-do-with-him-but-isn't-he-precious-though?' proud manner, on how he talks back and didn't listen. They gave in to whatever he wanted and basically just let him do whatever he wants.
Its hard to discipline a child when the adoring 'adults' around him made it seems like every mistake is a small, non-important matter. They like to undermine me, and most time right while I was scolding him. For example, I will tell him that he will not get such-and-such before dinner.....and they proceed to give it to him anyway. Right in front of me and telling him that its OK to have it. As I was telling him as to why he shouldn't have it.
Its difficult to teach my son values and lessons on good manners, when these 'adults' laughed and mocked at his crying, or make faces behind my back at him when I was scolding, when I tried to lecture him on his mistakes or mischief. Of course he's going to laugh..and how can I be angry at him for laughing when the 'adults' thats acting so immature and was making faces and laughing at him? I put a quote mark '..' because these ppl act so childishly and without responsibility to my son's well being. Actually, I think they're happy in their role, because they don't have to be hated, they don't have to deal with rejection and bad feelings from my son..they let me, become a 'bad person' in my son's eyes.
I had endured the dislike and rejection from early on. Back then, my son didn't even want me to carry or hug him, unless there's absolutely no one around. He avoids me and he always told me that he didn't like me and that he prefers someone else..at one time even firmly pushing me out of the room, because he didn't want me in there with them...at times it was when I was laying next to him and one of his adoring adult came in, he would push my shoulder and said 'you go out now, I don't want you here'. And of course the 'adult' laughed and thinks its funny. Or maybe she's just happy that my son chose her over me.
Only God will know the feelings, to stand there and then to turn to walk away. I wouldn't wished it on my enemy.
But.. I had made up my mind early on..that I rather that he hates me now, than to have him grow up a mannerless, spoiled person who don't know how to function in society. I would gladly give up being his favorite person or even his friends, if it means that he will know the rights from wrongs and to be a decent human being. I would gladly have him think that I am a bad person for denying him his fun or toys.
And now, I am so thankful that all my efforts were not wasted. He even prefers me to help him do his homework, even if I often times very strict with him. He calls me his friends..which is a very good thing to hear coming from your kids :).
The bonus is, friends and family often remark that Rique is a very well mannered child for his age, polite and listens well to adults...Its one of the greatest feeling to have been told that. So far, I've done my role well.
I'm a proud mama. And I am extremely proud of my son.
