Rique will be 5, and he calls me friend

Rique will turn 5 in less than a month!!  I can't believe that he's already FIVE!!!

Feels like its only a short while ago he was trying to walk, and then to speak...now he's FIVE!

One important thing that I noticed though, he has become very close and very fond of me.  In which I am very happy with, because it wasn't like that in his early years.  But nowadays, he chooses me over his grandma, aunt and father most of the time now. He even refused to share things, like toys, or food with others..telling them that he will only shares with me, his friend.  Of course I will tell him that he shouldn't do that and its not a nice thing to do, but yes, secretly I am pleased.

Its an uphill battle, to be the 'bad person' that says 'no' to him frequently and enforces disciplines and firm rules...when he has 4-5 ppl around him that kowtowed and just gives in to his every demand.  People who lets him talk disrespectfully and being rude and insulting.  And not only that, they acted as if its the cutest thing they've ever heard from him and proceed to pat him or hug him or laugh or tell ppl in an annoyingly 'oh-what-am-I-to-do-with-him-but-isn't-he-precious-though?' proud manner, on how he talks back and didn't listen.  They gave in to whatever he wanted and basically just let him do whatever he wants.

Its hard to discipline a child when the adoring 'adults' around him made it seems like every mistake is a small, non-important matter.  They like to undermine me, and most time right while I was scolding him.  For example, I will tell him that he will not get such-and-such before dinner.....and they proceed to give it to him anyway.  Right in front of me and telling him that its OK to have it.  As I was telling him as to why he shouldn't have it.

Its difficult to teach my son values and lessons on good manners, when these 'adults' laughed and mocked at his crying, or make faces behind my back at him when I was scolding, when I tried to lecture him on his mistakes or mischief.  Of course he's going to laugh..and how can I be angry at him for laughing when the 'adults' thats acting so immature and was making faces and laughing at him?  I put a quote mark '..' because these ppl act so childishly and without responsibility to my son's well being.  Actually, I think they're happy in their role, because they don't have to be hated, they don't have to deal with rejection and bad feelings from my son..they let me, become a 'bad person' in my son's eyes.

I had endured the dislike and rejection from early on.  Back then, my son didn't even want me to carry or hug him, unless there's absolutely no one around.  He avoids me and he always told me that he didn't like me and that he prefers someone else..at one time even firmly pushing me out of the room, because he didn't want me in there with them...at times it was when I was laying next to him and one of his adoring adult came in, he would push my shoulder and said 'you go out now, I don't want you here'. And of course the 'adult' laughed and thinks its funny.  Or maybe she's just happy that my son chose her over me.

Only God will know the feelings, to stand there  and then to turn to walk away.  I wouldn't wished it on my enemy.

But.. I had made up my mind early on..that I rather that he hates me now, than to have him grow up a mannerless, spoiled person who don't know how to function in society.  I would gladly give up being his favorite person or even his friends, if it means that he will know the rights from wrongs and to be a decent human being.  I would gladly have him think that I am a bad person for denying him his fun or toys.

And now, I am so thankful that all my efforts were not wasted.  He even prefers me to help him do his homework, even if I often times very strict with him.  He calls me his friends..which is a very good thing to hear coming from your kids :).

The bonus is, friends and family often remark that Rique is a very well mannered child for his age, polite and listens well to adults...Its one of the greatest feeling to have been told that.  So far, I've done my role well.

I'm a proud mama.  And I am extremely proud of my son.

A sensitive subject

AARRGGHH!

This is really frustrating.  Having 3 different people with 3 different ideas and ways of raising a kid really is not good for my son's development.  Yea, kids will be kids and they will run around in public places, talk loudly and do whatever they want.  But that doesn't mean you should let them.

I believe there's time and places to do things. A time to run around and time to sit down and be quiet...and its really annoying that I would spent the time to instruct him on whats proper, getting him to understand what he needs to do and feel very pleased when he follows it.................and then they go and tell him the opposite, and I'd be back to square one!

CONCLUSION:  GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

Terrible Two

Before my son was born, I read a lot about the Terrible Two. The way they explained it,  it is some kind of a juvenile Jekyll and Hyde . '' Beware! ..when the moon finally made its 24th cycle of the earth, when the little precious one turned the dreaded age of 2 ...your sweet little baby will transformed into a horrible little monster, capable of mass destruction and chaos!!...Be warned!''

They made it look like its something unimaginably bad..its the phase that made moms almost swear off being pregnant again..its something that made your house looks like a fortress with everything locked up and glued, screwed in, taped over, covered and hidden.  Experienced mothers would warn me... 'ooh wait until he's two, Dearie, then you won't have to diet to lose weight..you'll lose weight just by being around him'..


 I was kinda worried about it..and so, when Rique entered that age, well......Was the article right, you ask?.....was it like what they say? well.....yes and no.....its not the screaming-and-breakdancing-on-the-floor-until-Mom-gives-what-I want, kinda behaviour, in which I was kinda expecting,...well, here's an example :-

..Rique was playing with the water dispenser, pressing

buttons and watching the water poured out..I took his right 

hand off the button, he pressed it instead with his left hand, I let 

go of his right hand and grabbed his left hand, his right hand

went to the button and as he tried to pull his left hand from mine, 

which was freed just as I was trying to grab his right hand, and 

the left went to the button, I grabbed that hand and took it off the 

button, he managed to put his right free hand under the water 

before it stopped, wetting it. I grabbed the wet right hand to wipe it, 

freeing his left hand, in which it moved to the button again and

pressing it, I grabbed the left to stop the water, and somehow 

right hand got free, and on the button it goes, I grabbed both

hands, and tried to pull him away, he tried 

to use his FEET instead..lifting it high up..

This happened in a very quick succession, less than a minute. From afar, it might looked like we're having some kind of Shaolin Kung Fu Master & Apprentice practice on an intricate hand combat technique....with a water dispenser.

He didnt cry or say anything throughout this..but he's doing it with extreme determination on his face.

 So, I dont know.

CONCLUSION: That calm and methodical way were waaaay scarier than screaming and crying