I am anxious!
I am moody!
I am nervous!
I am going crazy!
Why? Why? Why?
I am looking for answer just for justification
I am looking for reply just for clarification
I am looking for response just for vindication
But what am I asking?
Its frustrating!
Its annoying!
Is it me? Is it me?
Would it help to scream? Would it??
Would it help to shout?
Or I should just beat it?
Should I do that?
Will that be good or bad?
Tell me!
I am sighing, but I want to shout
I am patient, but I want to assert
I am rationalizing, but I want to get absurd
I am gritting my teeth, but I want curse out
I am calm, but I want to disturb
Ahh..just shoot me dead!
Conclusion : stay away, your breathing annoys the hell out of me
Showing posts with label RAMBLINGS AND STUFF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label RAMBLINGS AND STUFF. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
THE ZODIAC
I found this cool blog that explained in details about Zodiac facts. And the blog is called, well, Zodiacfacts lol.
here's the link > http://zodiacfacts.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2011-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&updated-max=2012-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&max-results=50
I have always used zodiac signs to understand people better. Some people mistook them for Horoscope and so, called it mambo jumbo......sigh...they are different, honey.
Horoscope is the daily readings, the predictions of whats gonna happen in your life today or what you're gonna eat tonight or if your friend will be calling you and asking to borrow some money, in which case...run Forest..ruun!! (see? Horoscope is very useful in that sense...now all you have to do is turn off your handphone and tell your bank to freeze your account for a day, Thank you Daily HoroscopeTM! )
Anyway, a Zodiac sign is a description of your characteristic and personality, based on the month you're born...so knowing whether someone, your friend, is a responsible person, good with money, honest and trustworthy, can make all the difference in the way you think about them or treat them.....or whether to lend them money.
And also its very useful to know what your child's zodiac is...so that you would know how to handle them better. Whether you should talk to them softly or a firmer discipline is needed in time of crisis...or maybe find out something about your hubby or wifey.....maybe all the flower and chocolate you gave her was not the right choice, try....a book or a handbag (for most Capricorn), and you'd probably get more loving than usual tonight *winkwink*nudgenudge*..........just saying :D
ahem. anyhoooo
That being said, its not a full personality reading either..you have to consider whether you're born at the cusp (in between two zodiac), what year you're born in (you should use the chinese astrology signs for that) and also your moon and sun reading But yeah, the zodiac gives you a general idea of someone's character. Try it.
CONCLUSION : people should read more about this, ya know
here's the link > http://zodiacfacts.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2011-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&updated-max=2012-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&max-results=50
I have always used zodiac signs to understand people better. Some people mistook them for Horoscope and so, called it mambo jumbo......sigh...they are different, honey.
Horoscope is the daily readings, the predictions of whats gonna happen in your life today or what you're gonna eat tonight or if your friend will be calling you and asking to borrow some money, in which case...run Forest..ruun!! (see? Horoscope is very useful in that sense...now all you have to do is turn off your handphone and tell your bank to freeze your account for a day, Thank you Daily HoroscopeTM! )
Anyway, a Zodiac sign is a description of your characteristic and personality, based on the month you're born...so knowing whether someone, your friend, is a responsible person, good with money, honest and trustworthy, can make all the difference in the way you think about them or treat them.....or whether to lend them money.
And also its very useful to know what your child's zodiac is...so that you would know how to handle them better. Whether you should talk to them softly or a firmer discipline is needed in time of crisis...or maybe find out something about your hubby or wifey.....maybe all the flower and chocolate you gave her was not the right choice, try....a book or a handbag (for most Capricorn), and you'd probably get more loving than usual tonight *winkwink*nudgenudge*..........just saying :D
ahem. anyhoooo
That being said, its not a full personality reading either..you have to consider whether you're born at the cusp (in between two zodiac), what year you're born in (you should use the chinese astrology signs for that) and also your moon and sun reading But yeah, the zodiac gives you a general idea of someone's character. Try it.
CONCLUSION : people should read more about this, ya know
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
I CALL
The fire is hot and fierce.
I am backed up against the wall.
All this heat is overwhelming.
"Come and love me!" I call.
The flames flick at my face,
But it misses and catches my hair.
I am then engulfed in the blaze.
No one is there to care.
The water is rising.
The tides coming in near.
"Come and love me!" I call.
I am tightly bound under the pier.
All my muscles go firm.
The water washes over my head.
I can’t breath so I suck in.
No one can see me because I am dead.
Now tangled in a sticky web,
I struggle but no one arrives.
"Come and love me!" I call.
I am afraid I may not survive.
The eight-legged creature,
Bites down deep in my flesh.
No one can hear me scream.
Sadly it soon results in my death.
I walk on the thin ice lake.
Under my weight it shatters.
"Come and love me!" I call.
My chin goes wild and chatters.
The snowflakes float over-head.
My heart beats from fast to slow.
No one is there to pull me out.
Frozen stiff with never ending water below.
I jump out of the plane.
Nothing but the sky and me.
"Come and love me!" I call.
I feel so wild and free.
Then my para-shoot jams.
Falling faster and the ground getting closer.
No one is there to help.
This is my final encounter.
I am a fragile rose with no water.
Soon my pedals will fall.
Will you be there to catch me?
"Come and love me!" I call.
No one is there to hear me.
No one is there to care.
You will catch me as a friend,
But nothing more is to bear.
CONCLUSION : Well! some people are just deaf, or maybe I should've used the phone instead
I am backed up against the wall.
All this heat is overwhelming.
"Come and love me!" I call.
The flames flick at my face,
But it misses and catches my hair.
I am then engulfed in the blaze.
No one is there to care.
The water is rising.
The tides coming in near.
"Come and love me!" I call.
I am tightly bound under the pier.
All my muscles go firm.
The water washes over my head.
I can’t breath so I suck in.
No one can see me because I am dead.
Now tangled in a sticky web,
I struggle but no one arrives.
"Come and love me!" I call.
I am afraid I may not survive.
The eight-legged creature,
Bites down deep in my flesh.
No one can hear me scream.
Sadly it soon results in my death.
I walk on the thin ice lake.
Under my weight it shatters.
"Come and love me!" I call.
My chin goes wild and chatters.
The snowflakes float over-head.
My heart beats from fast to slow.
No one is there to pull me out.
Frozen stiff with never ending water below.
I jump out of the plane.
Nothing but the sky and me.
"Come and love me!" I call.
I feel so wild and free.
Then my para-shoot jams.
Falling faster and the ground getting closer.
No one is there to help.
This is my final encounter.
I am a fragile rose with no water.
Soon my pedals will fall.
Will you be there to catch me?
"Come and love me!" I call.
No one is there to hear me.
No one is there to care.
You will catch me as a friend,
But nothing more is to bear.
CONCLUSION : Well! some people are just deaf, or maybe I should've used the phone instead
Monday, August 30, 2010
without feelings
Is being a robot without deeper feelings is better? Surviving each day without feeling worry, sadness, anxious, content, love, or being loved, deeper desire, needs, affections..nothing.
you'd feel happy, and angry or upset...but nothing in between. Is it better than needing someone, crying every night from the hurt they inflicted, thinking about million things that could happen, that did happen and shouldn't've happened? Questioning everything...questioning every words, every actions...Wondering why it happened, why things changed...and the worse thing is, they didnt even realized it...that person just don't see how much they're hurting you..when you tried to tell them, they belittled, they get offended, they lashed out, they think that you're blaming them, they think that you're purposely looking for way to make them feel guilty...disbelief, saying ''...how could you....how could you..''
Sitting here watching their situation dictate everything, sitting here saying 'ok..I understand' cos what else can you do? stop them? when they said 'I can't take this anymore!'..what can you say to that. The person can't be around you..should you stop them? begged them to endure it? to tolerate it? and just stay?...of course not, you have pride, you have dignity. why beg? its not as if you're a cheap trash, its not as if you don't have any value...you know you do, experience told you that, ppl told you that, their concern and their admiration told you that, their willingness told you that.
and yet.....and yet.....you sacrifice yourself..in hopes that people would treat you the same way you treated them...Fully believing the saying ' Treat Others As You Want Yourself To Be Treated'...giving all you got, within your ability..sometimes going beyond what you should or need to do...all the nice things in the world...giving all to them, putting them before yourself...and still they want more...still they expect more. You dont want 'thanks'..you dont want 'appreciation' ..you dont want 'gratitude'...you just want to be treated the same way...with at least a consideration, and tolerance and kindess and respect.
And so...you cry and cry..until you're amazed that you still have tears to cry...and cry even without realizing it...and then the tears dried up..not because it stopped...because you couldnt cry anymore...
And you decide...its not worth feeling anymore...you have a life to live...and so you put away everything, to keep your sanity......with years of practice, with years of abuse and hurt and loneliness and being manipulated...you've become good at it. It's your survival instinct along with your excellent sense of humor, its what kept you normal...
So you forget your feelings.....you're happier..superficial at least..heart is clearer..but empty.
you'd feel happy, and angry or upset...but nothing in between. Is it better than needing someone, crying every night from the hurt they inflicted, thinking about million things that could happen, that did happen and shouldn't've happened? Questioning everything...questioning every words, every actions...Wondering why it happened, why things changed...and the worse thing is, they didnt even realized it...that person just don't see how much they're hurting you..when you tried to tell them, they belittled, they get offended, they lashed out, they think that you're blaming them, they think that you're purposely looking for way to make them feel guilty...disbelief, saying ''...how could you....how could you..''
Sitting here watching their situation dictate everything, sitting here saying 'ok..I understand' cos what else can you do? stop them? when they said 'I can't take this anymore!'..what can you say to that. The person can't be around you..should you stop them? begged them to endure it? to tolerate it? and just stay?...of course not, you have pride, you have dignity. why beg? its not as if you're a cheap trash, its not as if you don't have any value...you know you do, experience told you that, ppl told you that, their concern and their admiration told you that, their willingness told you that.
and yet.....and yet.....you sacrifice yourself..in hopes that people would treat you the same way you treated them...Fully believing the saying ' Treat Others As You Want Yourself To Be Treated'...giving all you got, within your ability..sometimes going beyond what you should or need to do...all the nice things in the world...giving all to them, putting them before yourself...and still they want more...still they expect more. You dont want 'thanks'..you dont want 'appreciation' ..you dont want 'gratitude'...you just want to be treated the same way...with at least a consideration, and tolerance and kindess and respect.
And so...you cry and cry..until you're amazed that you still have tears to cry...and cry even without realizing it...and then the tears dried up..not because it stopped...because you couldnt cry anymore...
And you decide...its not worth feeling anymore...you have a life to live...and so you put away everything, to keep your sanity......with years of practice, with years of abuse and hurt and loneliness and being manipulated...you've become good at it. It's your survival instinct along with your excellent sense of humor, its what kept you normal...
So you forget your feelings.....you're happier..superficial at least..heart is clearer..but empty.
CONCLUSION: There is no conclusion
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Being Strong
I'm thinking...(uh oh she's thinking....ruun!!)
Its not so much as having the strength or being strong in face of adversities...Sometimes I think, in some situation, its more of being determined to not fail, to not being defeated, in which takes us to the probability of its just stubborness or tenaciousness. Of wanting to hold on to the idea that they're right and that they will never let anything, anything to change their mind..thats why they stood their ground..a strong person.
or maybe its just stupidity. Too stupid to sometimes see that you're fighting a losing battle, or that there's something that you can do to change the situation, to make tough decision to free yourself from the pain.
Or maybe its just acceptance. You accept your situation, instead of fighting it. People that fight their problems always see-saw between rage, self-pity woe-is-me mode, disappointment and sadness...but the person that stood silent and calm is usually the one that will be considered strong.
(heyy....still here? I thought you ran away...)
Its not so much as having the strength or being strong in face of adversities...Sometimes I think, in some situation, its more of being determined to not fail, to not being defeated, in which takes us to the probability of its just stubborness or tenaciousness. Of wanting to hold on to the idea that they're right and that they will never let anything, anything to change their mind..thats why they stood their ground..a strong person.
or maybe its just stupidity. Too stupid to sometimes see that you're fighting a losing battle, or that there's something that you can do to change the situation, to make tough decision to free yourself from the pain.
Or maybe its just acceptance. You accept your situation, instead of fighting it. People that fight their problems always see-saw between rage, self-pity woe-is-me mode, disappointment and sadness...but the person that stood silent and calm is usually the one that will be considered strong.
(heyy....still here? I thought you ran away...)
CONCLUSION : I'm not that strong
Saturday, August 14, 2010
You know it's always sad
When you can't be bought anymore
Coming to that point where
You just don't even care what your distraction for
My material possessions mean nothing anymore
When they were all I had; now losing my only chance
At the only person I ever wanted
The only thing that couldn't be bought
The only thing that was worth my money
It was true happiness
What reason do I have now?
Now that my pathetic reason is gone
"No reason is pathetic
No life is meaningless"
Yes that's true yet tis not
"We are not put here to suffer
I will NOT believe that"
Not every life can be loved
Not every life can be known
That's just how it works
Some are meant for suffering
Some are meant for nothing-ness
Some are meant to die
Some are just meant for suicide
My reason was something that was looked down upon
My reason was something that couldn't last forever
I couldn't cling to reason for eternity
Because reason and I have an expiration date
To the sweat of a man's brow
And the suffering of a childhood
Burned out from the fire of abuse
Left with ashes that meant nothing to none
None but I but, I
Meant nothing to no one either
I am useless without a purpose
So I am ready
Ready to toss my body aside
Let the next should take my place
Then I shall fly to afterlife
Rest in my buried coffin with perhaps,
My final smile.
CONCLUSION : people die
When you can't be bought anymore
Coming to that point where
You just don't even care what your distraction for
My material possessions mean nothing anymore
When they were all I had; now losing my only chance
At the only person I ever wanted
The only thing that couldn't be bought
The only thing that was worth my money
It was true happiness
What reason do I have now?
Now that my pathetic reason is gone
"No reason is pathetic
No life is meaningless"
Yes that's true yet tis not
"We are not put here to suffer
I will NOT believe that"
Not every life can be loved
Not every life can be known
That's just how it works
Some are meant for suffering
Some are meant for nothing-ness
Some are meant to die
Some are just meant for suicide
My reason was something that was looked down upon
My reason was something that couldn't last forever
I couldn't cling to reason for eternity
Because reason and I have an expiration date
To the sweat of a man's brow
And the suffering of a childhood
Burned out from the fire of abuse
Left with ashes that meant nothing to none
None but I but, I
Meant nothing to no one either
I am useless without a purpose
So I am ready
Ready to toss my body aside
Let the next should take my place
Then I shall fly to afterlife
Rest in my buried coffin with perhaps,
My final smile.
CONCLUSION : people die
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Let see....how do I do this
..Just starting out..Still poking around, disturbing things, having a tour.....reading stuff and changing things around just to see what it would do.
CONCLUSION : ITS DAMN CONFUSING! .... anyway, have patience with me..I'll be up and running in no time, and you wont regret the wait ( I think, I hope :P)..now, crack the knuckles and lets start blogging!!...eventually.. :)
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